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Should I have said Yes? – March 2003

Every time I hear an Ex or some guy that was smitten with me is hooked up and getting married or married. I wonder; ‘Could that have been me?’, ‘Did I miss a golden opportunity?’, ‘Could he have been the one that made my fairy tale fantasy come through?’ and guess what the answer is? The answer is dependent on whether one believes in their self or not. Whether one’s life is full of regrets or sees every situation as an opportunity to learn something new and be equipped for greater things to come. Maybe if I tell you about some of these guys, you’ll have a clue to the answer of my question.

Mr ‘my first love’, he was practically my dream come through, and I felt he was the one and only love of my life. He did all the right things, swept me off my feet with showerings of affection I had never experienced. What is a girl to do, but fall in love? Well, it could not have been as wonderful for him as it was for me, if I got a ‘Dear Jane’ letter. Now in the ever-present future, he is so unreliable, baby father and not my idea of what I’d like for a husband. My question to you is should I have any regrets?

Mr ‘ever so possessive’ had not even started going out with me and he wanted to track my every movement. Some call it ‘love’ I call it as I see it, ‘possessive and insecure’. Put it this way, I did not even go there. This was over six years ago. I see him from time to time, and he still seems to be in the same place in life as he was years back when I first met him. I actually saw him not so long ago with his fiancée, did I miss a golden opportunity? He always tried to make me feel like I had missed out on a great opportunity by not dating, umm… I think not. I’d still be stuck in the past, not moving on, all my dreams dissipated and the sparkle gone from my eyes? Let’s not even go there.

Mr ‘infatuated’, him I had to let him go for faith reasons and I was not so interested. He was willing to take his faith more seriously and even mentioned marriage. But I just could not fathom us together, but hello! He mentioned marriage, did he not? Yes he did. Well if not to me, he did finally get married to someone else. The way I hear it these days, he has turned to Islam and is dabbling in a few things that would make me cringe and go on my knees asking God what I did to deserve such… Need I say more?

There have been a few others that would jump through hoops for me and were interested in a somewhat serious relationship. However, for one reason or the other I had to say no. Some have gone on to get married, and some I don’t know where they are now. And as for me, as I write this article, I am still very single and unattached.

Please don’t get me wrong, and misinterpret anything I have said to mean I was too good for this guys, I’ll have too admit some where too good for me especially when I could not appreciate their finer qualities.

So should I have said yes? Maybe I’d have a baby or two in tow by now, the ideal 2.4 family. However, I have no regrets. God orders the steps of the righteous, and if God did not make it happen for me then, it probably was not meant to be. Some of my friends tend to categorise me as ‘too choosy’. Yes I admit I am choosy when it comes to a partner. Marriage is a lifetime decision and not just for the interim; I want my marriage to work, I want to marry the right person for me, I don’t want to look back with regrets and I don’t mind waiting for God’s best.

And you know what? I have come too far, to settle for less. One saying I’d leave you with is, “Marry in haste and repent in leisure”.



About The Author

Change Consultant, Coach & Speaker

Founder of Inspiring Women Worldwide, Principle Coach & Consultant at, and Inspirational ‘Tell it like it is’ speaker who is passionate about working with Individuals and Teams to achieve their desired goals.

Number of Entries : 76

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