New Millienium Woman
Meet Funmi, has three children, lives in the UK, and works as Software Developer. We asked her how she manages to juggle between being a mum, wife and career woman.
1. Tell us a little bit about your work, what is it exactly you do?
I am a software developer, and I develop custom applications using the .NET technology. I also do a lot of database development and management. A good developer has to be a good tester as well, and I basically test as I go along.
2. Why is it you work? Is it something you love to do; is it for economical or other reasons?
I am absolutely in love with what I do. I enjoy the whole cycle; requirements gathering, definition, developing and testing. I also use my job as a balancing act in my life as a whole, in feeling fulfilled overall. I do not think I’ll be a happy housewife, a good housewife yes but not necessarily a happy one. My job acts as an outlet for the little energy I have left in me after caring for my family. I also enjoy the adrenalin that comes out of being in a very busy environment.
3. What would life be like if you did not have to work? i.e. would you be fulfilled or unfulfilled, how different do you think your life would be?
If God led me down the path of not working, I must admit I would do my best to give thanks and enjoy it. But from the point where I stand as at this moment, I do not think I would feel more fulfilled. I feel fulfilled enough being a working mother and won’t have it any other way. However, if there is anything I would like more than anything, it would be to play a more active role in my daughter’s school – that is volunteering at least once a month to help in my daughter’s class.
4. How do you manage to combine career and family?
Primarily it is God and His awesome favor; and having a fantastic support system which has been my husband, children and my parents/parents-in-law.
5. Do you feel that you are managing it well?
So far so good, to the glory of God, Life can always be better (she says, with a smile).
6. What type of support system do you have?
First and foremost, my dear husband, then my Mum, who has come from Nigeria and is presently staying with us.
7. What role does your husband play in supporting you?
He is Number 1; after my Saviour and best Friend Jesus Christ who is my ultimate support systemJ. My husband is just superb, great and fantastic. He is forever encouraging me and supporting me in all areas. Emotionally, mentally and physically, he is there, he is my main winning ingredient.
8. Have you ever had a terrible day when you desperately wished things would be different?
Every day has its challenges. Every day I wish I could be the one to drop my kids off at school and pick them up instead of others. I wish I was the one to cook their lunch instead of others. I wish quite a few intimate things, which are the main things I miss by working but I know it makes the small or even arduous things I do with them seem so special and more intimate.
The terrible days are when my kids are a little naughty, mostly with their grandmother; and I’m not there to caution or discipline them. Those times are excruciating as I feel being there would make a difference, and then I wish things were different.
9. What advice do you have for other working mothers?
Pray for the job you would thoroughly love and a great support system which would be there to support you in the good and challenging times. Having the job you absolutely love is imperative to having a good/great career life. Another important thing is to always to work your job around your family demands not the other way round. Finally in order to have a ‘happy’ and stable home and career, you must be ready to be selfless and truly hard-working. Your personal needs are always going to come last. However try and have personal holidays, spa weekends etc. once in a while, so as to pamper yourself, this will help invigorate you.
10. What advice do you have for single women?
I have found the next two virtues extremely important for success in every area of one’s life, humility and confidence. It may seem an oxymoron that how can I be humble yet confident. Ha! That is why a lot of us women find it a challenge to get things right.
They would definitely lend themselves to success in your job, church or even relationship. People endear themselves to humble people, and also enjoy the company of confident and vibrant personalities. Arrogance, snobbery and sulkiness are complete turn-offs!
11. Thank you for giving us some of your time today, what final words can you give us?
We women are special and highly blessed. You must remember, in whatever role you find yourself; housewife, mother, lawyer, engineer, you are not only doing a fantastic job but you are also doing the job no man, and I’m being really serious here, can ever do. You must also remember to always have a vision and goal, to which you are working to achieve with the grace of God.
I pray the good Lord would use His mercy and grace, which has always been abundant in my life, to touch the life of so many others out there.