Eyes hath not seen, but I saw – Meet Abi
She had waited upon the Lord concerning her heart’s desires; and after what would have seemed to many like a long wait and things seemed to be going as planned, the unexpected happened and everything seemed to be slipping from her fingers. Hear it directly from her.
Here I am on a Saturday, actually it the day before I hand in my story, my husband and our son are upstairs, while I snatch a few minutes to write this piece in the hope encouraging the people who end up reading it.
So what is the story? Well, just like a few women out there, some few years back, it seemed like everyone around me was getting married and having children. Everyone that is, except for me, it appeared that no one around me seemed to understand my situation, they got married in their mid-twenties and here I was hitting the early thirties, and nothing seemed to be happening. There was pressure from home “Thank God I wasn’t living back home in Africa – as I don’t know how I would have coped. It appeared as though those of in church that were not married were suffering from a serious disease.
However, my Saviour, Redeemer, Comforter and Friend saved me from this erroneous thinking. He taught me how to destroy that mind-set, and stand my ground to demonstrate that marriage was not my identity, but a blessing to this journey called life.
So I surrounded myself with like-minded people! You know when you make up your mind about such a thing, God sends like-minded people your way. It’s amazing and fun – I read books by single Christian woman that encouraged me and inspired me – I studied the Bible and realized a truth that most people out there might not accept but it’s in the Bible. It is the man that finds the wife, and honey, no matter what Alley McBeal, Sex & the City, and all those other programs and publications may say, that is the way the cookie crumbles.
On returning from a Singles Conference that transformed my life and way of thinking, out of the blue, he appeared. I had just come back from Atlanta with an understanding that my single life was the foundation of my future; and that if I messed it up, I would be messed up completely, and that I wasn’t ready for!
Although my presumed “intended” had appeared I needed to be sure, so I prayed, I watched, I observed, I kept my mouth sealed, and kept on watching and praying. I needed to be sure that I wasn’t laying my heart down to someone that would just walk all over it and have no respect for me. It was trying, but fortunately I had my wise mother in the Lord my Pastor’s wife – who had taught me more than she could ever know, and other male and female Pastors/ministers, whose teachings I had listened to over the years.
At this point I have to say this, when a person who seems like “God sent” appears, it takes the grace of God to hold on to your identity. Why? Because you have waited for so long, and when the person appears, you want to do everything you possibly can to please the person. Let me sound a word of caution here to my sisters, let it never be at the expense of your values. This is the time in your life whereby your values are tested to the extreme. Never start behaving as a wife when you are still dating or courting, stand your ground.
Did I forget to mention my state of health? Due to my health Sickle cell anaemia- we had to wait as my future in-laws were against our marrying because it. But my intended stood his ground, knowing what God had told him, he wasn’t about to change his mind. Ladies, please allow me to advise you that it is important that we do not get married without parental consent; It means a lot both spiritually as well as physically. Eventually he gave in to his parents, and we went our separate ways.
I was initially in shock! How could this be? After thanking God for seeing my desire come to pass it appeared that it was being taken away. I went back to my Father who said I should pray, and not be discouraged, for that which He started He would complete. So I did just that, I prayed and continued to live my life; I did various things, travelled and waited patiently.
In Dec 31st 2003, God rose up a storm in the life of my then”intended” and my help was required. I felt like Esther in the Bible because it was a difficult and trying time. However God used the storm to open my friend’s eyes and give him clarity. By the end of Feb 2004, we were reconciled, and the icing on the cake was his parents giving there consent and blessing. God did what He said He would do, it was like a dream, only God could do this.
We got married on 19th of June 2004, God worked out every situation that seemed like a stumbling block in our lives. I became pregnant and despite what the doctors had said about my health, I was blossoming in pregnancy, they wanted to do various tests to show if our son would have Down’s syndrome, or Sickle Cell but we refused and told them that it was God who had put this child in my womb, and He was more than able to take care of our child.
On the 15th of May 2005, we had a bouncing baby born in perfect health. Everyone who sees him, not only admires him but also testifies to fact that only God could have perfected everything concerning our home and son.
So was the journey a difficult one? Yes, but we are able to do all things through Christ that strengthens us. I have learnt that what is precious is never found on the surface, it takes faith, determination and God to hold on and wait for the best. Sistas you have waited this long, hold on a little longer as your breakthrough is just round the corner. My situation, the intricacies of my health, the opposition I experienced, and my son testifies to me that God does not lie, he words are true and amen.
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